It's quiet tonight but not in my head.  I should be worried about all kinds of things, how the recent money troubles can be dealt with, how to get the company website up and running, what new product designs we can invent or discover... further afield I could be wondering whether I will ever be truly independent or whether I really am stuck following in everyone else's wake as they create stunning new ideas and almost as often drop them again.

I'm not a terribly creative person, and my most creative and inspired talent is speaking, outloud, extemporaneously and to a very small audience.  My ideas appear and vanish over a cup of coffee and a slice of cake late at night in a badly decorated coffee shop that only remembers the past glory of the Denver scene.

I really ought to write them down, but then they come out sounding like this, stilted and overblown, stuffy... which isn't to say that's not how they sound when I'm rambling on about mind and spirit and flow and pointing out how badly the art is hung, but at least I don't have to hear it.

I had a new thought tonight, new to me, about the human dichotomy, or trichotomy in some cases... we still have so many issues dividing this from that, mind from body, soul from heart and then we break it down smaller and smaller, to the cellular, the atomic and down to buzzing strings of energy but we really don't want to put it all together and just look at the thing that is, right in front of us and inside us.  The only division in perception that I can make sense of is between the state of precision and the state of the eternal.

Precision is the snap shot, the tiny little piece, and every piece when held up to the whole, is tiny.  A rock, a stream, a sneeze, a planet possibly slowly cooking itself to death, it's all tiny compared to a moment of completeness, even one held for just a second.  Every piece matters and it's not a bad thing to want to see the pieces but you can never see all the pieces, hold every one of them at once.  The mind isn't designed for it and I suspect there are no minds that are.

And the eternal... I have no belief about God in any sense.  I have no idea whether there is or isn't deity or afterlife or reincarnation but a person is a flow, a stream a continuance.  Life is, existence on any level is, continuous and continuously changing.  We can know a person by slices and snapshots or we can step back and just watch and engage with that person and know them as that continuity, not in a way that defines or limits or does anything but be one eternal presence connecting with another.  That eternity always ends, we lose it, start thinking about something else and it's gone, but we can always find it again as long as we engage with ourselves.

It's all very mystical, I suppose.  One creates two, two creates three and three creates all the ten thousand things.

I prefer a balance between a defined world and a world experienced in immediacy.  I can explain all day about a person and miss everything worthwhile, but then sometimes without the words and the explanation, I might forget to look at all.


Babble babble.  On other notes I've discovered that using hypnosis and massage together works pretty well.  I miss being able to get acupuncture treatments that don't require me to explain everything each and every time.  I want to spend a lot more time at Irish sessions and I wish I had the money to buy a bodhran.  Politics is likely to melt my brain as I watch the ineffectual battle with the morbidly obtuse.


Free from desire, one perceives the mystery/caught up in desire, one perceives only the manifestations./Mystery and manifestations arise from the same source./This is called darkness./ Darkness within darkness, the gateway to all understanding.  -paraphrased from memory from some translation or other of the Tao te Ching.